How to Build Your Confidence

While this is Day 16 of our Procrastination to Progress Challenge, this post should help those of you who don’t struggle with the bad habit or who aren’t doing the challenge. After 18 months where folks have felt increased loneliness and isolation, it’s easy to feel less confident because of the phone not ringing as much or not receiving as many invites. Building your confidence back up with help you whether you’re trying to stop procrastinating or just need to bounce back after all that’s happened within the past two years.

Yesterday, we talked about how to be more proactive. When it comes to being proactive, self-confidence can make all the difference. Low self-esteem can cause you to avoid tasks that are too hard, uncomfortable, or intimidating because it can cause you to feel “less than”, not good enough, or like a failure if you aren’t able to complete them to others’ or your own expectations. Knowing you are worthy and have what it takes to meet expectations can make risk-taking easier, but there’s more to it. Having healthy self-esteem also helps you recognize you don’t have to be the brightest and the smartest person around – you just have to be confident in what you do and how you do it. Healthy self-esteem allows for you to live fully and be present in the moment as you accomplish tasks.

You are amazing. Remember that.

4 Actions to Build Your Confidence

Know that “I Can Do This”

The biggest lies we tell ourselves at times is that we are never going to learn things or that we aren’t goo enough to be chosen to do them. We tell ourselves that we are not going to solve problems or complete projects. However, we need to change that narrative by committing to solve problems and worth through roadblocks so you can see how capable you truly are.

Each time you solve a problem and complete a project by doing your best, you will feel better about yourself. Refuse to rob yourself of that problem. Don’t give into the “I Can’t Do This” mindset but celebrate that “I Can Do This” and more importantly, “I WILL Do This!”

Stop Blaming Yourself

Low self-esteem thrives on blame. Everything becomes your fault. BUT IT’S NOT. You have to stop blaming yourself for others’ problems, for the things that happened to you when you were younger, for the things that you’ve done wrong. Forgive yourself where you need to do so and stop laying blame. Get to a counselor if you must.

When you stop blaming yourself, you will start finding solutions instead of identifying roadblocks. You will understand that blame is a diversion contributing to your problem and the only way around it is to solve the problem and take action, even when you feel like you aren’t worthy.

I also want to take a moment to remind you to stop blaming others as well. It’s not someone else’s fault you didn’t promoted or that you were were overlooked for that role you wanted. It’s not your agent’s fault you didn’t get published or that your book wasn’t a best seller. Sometimes things happen. Instead take action for what you can control, do what you can, and move forward.

Do One Task at a Time

Success improves confidence. The more you win at life, the better you feel. So when you want to increase your self-esteem, you have to increase your confidence by taking on more changes to fail. And then you have to commit to them fully. One task at a time. No more multi-tasking. It doesn’t work!

The reason this is important for you is because when you multitask as a procrastinator, you tend to leave things unfinished. Instead, work on ONE THING AT A TIME until it is done. No more unfinished projects. And when you have something that is big and will take a while, break it up into pieces that you will work on daily and then complete each days work. Become your own project manager.

Understand Who You Are In Christ

For those of us who are Christians, this is most important, but I share it last because I know not all of my readers are Christian. Knowing who you are in Christ is vital to a strong self-esteem because if we don’t understand who we are, how can we be confident in that person?

Some of the Biblical truths shared in Mercy Multiplied’s Who I Am In Christ resource include:

  • I am complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)
  • I am beautiful and flawless. (Song of Solomon 4:7)
  • I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)
  • I am treasured. (Deuteronomy 7:6)

When combined with the truth from the Bible, which they share a resource sheet for entitled “Truth Statements,” you can speak these over yourself and change your brain to believe them instead of the lies you tell yourself daily in negative self-talk. Start this practice and change how you see yourself within six months of daily speaking these scriptures over yourself.

If you are suffering from procrastination, your self-esteem may need a boost. Work on building your self-esteem and you’ll likely see a reduction in your procrastination and an increase in living a proactive lifestyle.

Challenge

This week, start speaking the scriptures over yourself if you are a Christian or are open to doing so. Start taking the other actions and building your self-confidence. If you want to stop procrastinating, you have to be confident and know that people ask you not because you’re the only one available or because they are walking all over you. While some may do that now because you don’t have the confidence to say “No” and welcome that behavior, as you implement these actions those people will start to fall out of your life and find new victims.

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