I was playing around with allusion this weekend based upon a photo I found… the photo and poem actually have NOTHING to do with one another other than the subject matter. I love how the mind works though! If you’re interested in joining in a challenge that will give you opportunities to write poetry and short stories sharing your story based upon pictures and prompts, join the Become What You Once Thought Impossible Writing Challenge 2020 that kicks of Thursday!
I stood there broken and damaged thinking there would never be another way to know myself.
How does one become whole after being shattered into a trillion pieces?
I looked at his mouth moving and heard something that resembled words,
but the syllables didn’t form sounds I understood.
They fell to the ground, running away with the scattered pieces of my soul.
In silence, we stared at one another.
His arms fully outstretched,
begging for me to wrap mine around him,
while simultaneously telling me I’d never be enough.
How does one know what to do when the messages sent from one’s body language conflict so deeply?
I looked away, wondering if anything broken could ever be beautiful and realized:
life only begins once there is wreckage.
I was thinking of how sometimes people stand in front of us speaking but not saying a thing. Sometimes it’s because we are so broken, we can’t hear them and other times it is because we aren’t prepared for what they are saying. That led my mind down a trail of thinking about when I first became a Christian and how long it took to go from it being about ME and what I wanted to feel to understanding how much Christ loves me and what it meant for God to go through that loss and separation. I remember always feeling like I wasn’t enough. Who was I with what I’ve done? Who was I with my lack of education? Who was I? Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.
But then a few years ago, there was a shift and suddenly it was less and less about me and more about Him. I no longer what He could for me but truly began to ask “What can I do for you?” Years ago that question would have felt so narcissistic to me. But now I realize it was the questions I should have asked all along, and one we need to ask of everyone we meet. It is about what they can do for me but about what I can do for them.
The last line was me realizing that in all my wreckage in life, in all the times I felt fully damaged or destroyed, I’ve risen stronger. From teen mom and barely graduating high school to MBA graduate helping others grow stronger businesses and program through writing. From domestic violence victim to survivor helping women escape the belief that there is nothing better on the other side.
And when it relates to Christ, it isn’t until our ego is completely destroyed that we can fully understand the depth of his love for us.
Is there a time this made you think of? If you are willing, share your thoughts in the comments.